Southern Indiana Living magazine is the exclusive publication of the region, offering readers a wide range of coverage on the people, places and events that make our area unlike any other. In SIL readers will find beautiful photography, encouraging s
Issue link: https://silivingmag.epubxp.com/i/437669
Jan/Feb 2015 • 39 Are We Too Busy? A Poem by Janet Drake Tere has to be a heaven So much beauty in the world Are we too busy to see it? Te rainbows, clouds, colors of the sky All show the magnifcence of God Are we too busy to see it? Te season's colors refect in the sunlight And the shadows shimmer in the moonlight Are we too busy to see it? God's hand is among us Touching us in every way Are we too busy to feel it? The thing he kept hearing over and over was, "I wish my husband was here." And so the idea of starting a support group for men was born. Co- founders; Allen Schuler, John Loi, Cin- dy Cooper, oncology nurse and Doug Drake met in December of 2001 and agreed to form this 501 (c) 3, non-proft organization. With help from many oth- ers, the group now has monthly meet- ings in both New Albany at Floyd Me- morial Hospital Cancer Care Center and in Louisville at Gilda's Club. Drake said, at frst, he didn't "re- alize the gravity of having a group like this for men." The goal is not to try and fx problems, but to be supportive and share information and understanding. "Unless you've been through it," said Greg, who lost his wife a year ago, you can't possibly understand. There is no botom to this rabbit hole." The group sometimes starts ses- sions by talking about sports or cur- rent events and the conversation natu- rally gravitates toward their loved ones. Emotions run the gamut from laughter to tears. Several past members of the group say they had contemplated sui- cide but this group allowed them to pro- cess their thoughts and was a lifeline for them. These men have found love once again and are happily remarried. The members face similar strug- gles. "You hear it over and over," said Drake. "I'm trying to take care of the woman I love. I'm physically and emo- tionally drained, but I have to be strong. And worse I feel guilty for even think- ing about my own well-being." Although the size of the group var- ies week to week, many men have been coming for years. Not to get support but to return the support that they received. "I cannot see a time when I won't come," said Greg. "This is a club where I will always be a member."• For more information about Together for Breast Cancer Survival, contact: Doug Drake at 502-649-6911 or ddrake@pcs- counseling.org. Tips from The men's supporT group • You have to take care of yourself. • Give yourself time to grieve. • Take support and help when it is ofered. • On a day your signifcant other is feeling good, take half the day and do some thing you really enjoy. • Hide or send her cards or leave love notes around for no reason. • Accompany your loved one to as many oncology appointments as possible. Take notes. The stress and confusion can be overwhelming. • Write down the symptoms your loved one is experiencing at home and take them with you to the doctor. • Listen. meeTings First Thursday each month Cancer Care Center 2210 Green Valley Road New Albany 6:30-8 p.m. Second Monday each month Gilda's Club 633 Baxter Avenue Louisville 6-8 p.m. Dinner is provided